Upgrade You

Hello wonderful people,

Are there things about you that work against you? Do you want to be an Engineer but hate mathematics? Are you passionate about public speaking and holding yourself back because you find yourself tongue-tied whenever you have to face a crowd? Do you wish your friends would give you a break because you are just being yourself and they keep complaining that you are too harsh? Let’s talk about what to do when ‘being yourself’ is causing you problems.

When I was younger, there was something my dad told me over and over until it became a part of me. Infact he still says it till this day: “Your nurture and not your nature determines your destiny.” Let me explain it with a personal story. Way back when I was in Secondary School, I did something that made me understand this quote perfectly. I was a science student who wanted to be an engineer just like my dad. There was only one little problem, its name was Mathematics. I really wanted to pass it. I felt I was trying so hard, but somehow I just seemed to remain average. I could get an easy 90% in English or Biology, but a I felt like a C in Mathematics could only come by prayer and fasting. I had to choose between my desire to become an engineer or the fact that mathematics wasn’t computing in my head.  Luckily for me one of our teachers said something to the class one day “If you want to pass a course, just call it your best course and you will pass it.” It didn’t make sense at the time. My favorite course was English because I found it so easy, then at a time it was Physics because I loved to discover how things worked, but Mathematics?! No way!

Anyway, I decided to try it. I started telling my friends Mathematics was my best course and something interesting happened. I realized that in order for it to be true, I needed to read it more. Usually I would spend more time reading my favorite course before even touching others so (reluctantly at first) I started reading Mathematics more and paying more attention to it. In short, by the time I was in SS2, I had become so good at Mathematics and fallen so much in love with it that I chose Further Mathematics as an elective and everyone who has seen my A1 in SSCE Mathematics finds it hard to believe that I once thought I was not cut out to pass Maths. That experience taught me a valuable lesson: “You can excel at something you were once horrible at because, all things are learnable.”

Your nature refers to your natural instincts, your default behavior, things that you can do automatically and easily e.t.c  While your nurture refers to the traits that you learn along the way either on purpose, by accident or because you were forced to. What I learnt was that I did not have to be a victim of my own nature or a slave to my instincts.

If you pick up your phone and look at it right now, I can guarantee you that it is very different from the way it was when you bought it. Something has changed. Maybe it’s the case, ringtone, display pictures, apps or wall paper. Sometimes it goes on silent, sometimes on vibrate e.t.c If you will adjust and upgrade your phone to fit what you need, how much more important is it to adjust and upgrade your traits so they can work for you. I know they say a leopard never changes its spots, but you are human. Get ready to be the best you can be, and don’t let yourself hold you back.

If you are a public speaker on the inside but scared of crowds on the outside, get some public speaking training. If you are too self-conscious to fulfill your dream of being a model, go and do some confidence building activities. If the fear of an aptitude test won’t let you apply for a job you really want get a lesson teacher if you have to.

A lot of people say they can’t be good at something because it is not in line with their passion. I say, you don’t have to like something to be good at it. Imagine a man drowning, do you think he will say: “It’s okay for me to drown since I never liked swimming anyway.”? No. He doesn’t care about liking swimming at that point, he just wants to live. So please, teach yourself be good at the things you need to be good at. Love the things that you love being good at, when the two overlap, that’s bliss but in the meantime:

If your nature is standing between you and your desired future…Nurture You

If it is difficult…Do It

If fear is holding you back…Overcome it

I know that changing our attitudes, learning new skills and overcoming our fears can be an uphill task, but in life we can only choose between excuses and results, we cannot have both. Don’t let your nature stand in your way…

UPGRADE YOU

Fill It

Hi guys,

Ever asked these questions: What ON EARTH are employers looking for? How do I determine my worth? Why doesn’t anyone appreciate my value?

I have a short story for you.

Ikona was village facing extreme famine, everyone had run out of food and water was a scarce commodity. There was no hope anywhere around and no one knew how to solve this problem. Even the king was so hungry that he couldn’t carry his staff and wear his crown. One day the village woke up to sad news, the king had died leaving no successor. With their thirsting throats and aching bellies they buried him and began the search for a new king.

A stranger heard of the King’s death and rode into town in an entourage of flashy cars and bags of money hoping to immediately be recognized as the most valuable option and be chosen as their King.  They didn’t give him a second glance. He hired dancers from far and wide to come and put up a show hoping to impress the people but the people did not laugh and cheer, they didn’t even come out of their houses. He was perplexed.

The next day, determined to be their King, he carried bags of gold to every house, they threw the gold at him asking what dying men needed with gold. He couldn’t figure out what kind of ungrateful people rejected gold? Someone had even threatened to kill him if he ever showed up in his compound again with useless things.

Just before giving up, he decided to ask someone what was going on and she said “Leave me! I am too hungry to talk, please go away.” Then it hit him! These people are starving!

He drove all night to a far-away town and used his gold to buy all kinds of food, fruits and drinks. He hired people to go into the village and begin to prepare a feast before he arrived. He then instructed them not to tell anyone who was coming but to say their master was just passing through the village and would only spend one night. Early the next morning, the villagers were awakened by the sweet almost forgotten aroma of delicacies which they had lost all hope of ever eating. The children breaking palm kernels were stopped in their tracks as the aroma of meat being fried enveloped them.

“Everyone harassed the cooks.  “Who is your master? What can we do to make him live with us? Will he share his food with us? Is he from our land?” No answer then an announcement. “The Master is almost here! He will spend the night and continue his journey tomorrow.” “What!” Immediately the elders discussed, “Surely anyone one who could find such bounty in this wilderness we call home, must never leave this land.”, “What should we do?” Immediately, they sprang into action, they got the King’s robe, staff and crown, stood at the entrance to their city waiting for him and began to sing “Long Live The King!”.

We have a saying at Poise’ Graduate Finishing School. “Employers know what they want, if they see it and they recognize it, they will acquire it.” Your value does not come from your environment, but it can can only be recognized in an environment where it is needed. Sometimes, the thing you are searching for is searching for you so don’t be discouraged. Ask yourself this very important question: “What do my goals require of me?”

Here is my advice to you in TWO Words.

-          If you are knocking on a door and it refuses to open –  Ask Questions

-          If you have sent out your resume 20 times and have never been called for a test – Edit IT

-          If the job you want requires experience - Go Volunteer

-          If you are being undervalued – Solve problems

In summary, if there is a gap between your current capability and the requirements of your dreams and aspirations – FILL IT

Your Friend

Uki

Get Wierd

“Average doesn’t win award” – Mavi Isibor, Group C.E.O, Poise Nigeria

In my view, there is no reason to be normal. The problem with being normal is that normal is normal and most of the time, it is average, regular and unremarkable. Sometimes being good enough is not enough, you need to be abnormal. Please let me explain with a personal experience:

‘Tina returned from her interview so excited. It had gone very well, so well in fact, better than she expected. She went over all the questions that the members of the panel had asked her and she knew she answered them well. I can testify to that because I was on the panel, we interviewed about 27 people that day.

Tina knew she answered us well because she downloaded an interview skills manual from the internet and when she cross checked after the interview, she was proud of how close to the manual her answers were. She followed the format perfectly, she used the rights words and so on, “Lucky me!” she thought, she shut down her computer, “I am so sure they will pick me.”

While Tina was reveling in her great performance at home, the other interviewers and I were going over our scoring of all the candidates. We were discussing and trying to decide on which 5 to call back and our conversation sounded a little like this:

Panelist A: “Most of them sounded the same to me. I am looking at the names and the CVs and I am struggling to even remember half of the things they said.” Everyone nodded.

Panelist C: “What about that Emeka guy?”

Panelist A: “Yes! The one that said he ran an NGO while in school.” Everyone smiled, and comments like “I liked him”, “sounds intelligent”, “I recommend him” flowed.

Panelist B: “There was also that girl that spoke so passionately, what was her name?”

Panelist C: “Ah! I cannot forget that one, Bola, she seems to have so much drive. I think she will bring new life to her department if we choose her.”

Panelist A: “She is chosen already, no contest. Let us call those two back add any three of the others that got high scores, just pick any three. Let’s see them next week.”

Panelist C: “Please there was a girl named Chioma, she shouldn’t fall into the others o. She got high scores but her explicit dressing will put people in trouble”

Panelist B :“Yes, but we also have to take that intelligent funny one who said he was selling pure water in school and still came out with a 2:1.”

Panelist A: ”I almost forgot him, great! Add him as well. Does anyone remember any other person that stood out? For good oh! Not the one that wore jeans and was saying he could not remember what the vacancy is for because he sent is CV to so many places.”

.

Everyone roared with laughter and the session ended.

The sad truth is that I do not know Tina. Her name could have been Titi or even Tope. She is a representative of all those who scored high but blended into the crowd because they followed good guidelines to the point of losing their individuality. Though they did well, they were all grouped together as ‘the others’.

‘Get Weird’ is not saying that you should just be weird for the sake of being weird. I am not saying that you should be different just for the sake of being different. Just embrace the things about you that make people say “Why are your own things always different.” When you discover what is different/weird about you and you learn how to sell it, then that is true packaging. Someone could be ashamed of the fact that he sold pure water, recharge cards or even food in school but if he learns how to package it, then it becomes an edge that makes people admire his resilience.

Someone might be a scatter brain who always forgets where they keep things. You just might be chosen as a perfect marketer for a company that sells Key Holders with SIM Cards in them. Whatever it is about you that makes you feel weird:

If it is good: Embrace It

You don’t want to stand out for bad performance so, if it is bad: Overcome It

If it is neither good nor bad: Enhance It

When you are done: Package it

To be abnormal can also mean ABOVE NORMAL. So, in all you do, feel free to follow the guidelines, don’t break the rules but please, embrace your individuality and don’t be afraid to

…GET WEIRD

Your friend

Uki Dare

PS: Please do not throw away your preparatory manuals for interview skills, you only need to learn how to let your personality shine through. I also teach interview skills (with a twist) at Poise’ Graduate Finishing Academy so feel free to stop by if you want some tips. uki@poisenigeria.org

Remember to share this post or drop a comment.

Thank you

Add It

What do you do when you see something going wrong and it’s none of your business? I can almost hear someone saying “I will face my front before someone will call me over sabi.” Okay let’s talk about how to tell the difference between helpful and ‘over sabi’ but first, a story.

“No! No! No! No! No Way!” Screamed Uju. This is not happening to me. Not today. No way” She closed her eyes and allowed her mind drift back to earlier that morning. She woke up with a big smile on her face and looked out of her fathered hut to observe all the servants hurrying around in preparation, everyone was so excited. It was her big day. Ugo her handsome prince and the love of her life had performed all the marriage rites and she was heading to his village tonight to take her place as future queen. This was supposed to be the best day of her life but instead here she was, stuck by the river bank with no way of getting there. Everyone had gone ahead in other boats to Ugo’s village where a big celebration was waiting for them. She was to come with her friends on the last boat to make a grand entrance but alas the boat that was left for her started sinking and they had to return to shore. Now she was stuck, embarrassed and missing her own reception, in her full princess regalia for that matter.

“Uju, the reason this boat was picked for you is because it is rarely used, everyone thought it would be in the best condition”. “Which silly best condition?” Uju snapped at Chika her best friend. “This boat is rickety and useless, it’s been leaking for ages, is it not the one I always used when sneaking to go see Ugo in his village before?!” “Ah ah!” Said Nneka “So you knew there was a leaking boat and you never did anything about it”. Uju starts screaming in frustration “Why are you guys busy interviewing me?! Does Chukwudi ever listen to anybody? Ask him if I didn’t tell him his boat was rickety and useless the last time I used it! Am I a boat fixer or care taker? If he can’t fix his boat, what’s my own? Should I have fixed it fir him?  I will have him severely punished for this. Chei! See my life. Why are we even talking about boats! when…” ! Chukwudi who had been struggling to fix his boat jumped in. “Were don oh! Insulti mi verry werl, so because I could not spoken Engilish very well you tink you are beta than me. Is orait, if you laiki have me behaeded. All I know is that, it is a 3 hour journey to Oma, in 3 hours your people will get there. They will be expecting you for anoda 1 hour, by di time dey realize you are not coming they will now send a boat which will take another 3  hours to come back an look for you. After which, you will spend anoda eztra 3 awas going back to Oma by which time it will be tomorrow morning! You are too big to ezplain it well for me dat day abi? Abegi lemme go and chop garri and sleep. Mstchewww.”

End

Sometimes when we see something going wrong we get angry but not angry enough to do something. I will use the words of Abiola ‘Champ’ Salami here, “Don’t get angry, get MAD (Make A Difference)”.

Maybe Uju felt that she didn’t need to be committed to ensuring that the boat owner understood the need to fix his own boat, after all it was his boat. Have you ever passed by a baby eating from the floor and just shook your head and walked past? Have you ever helped a child across the road? Have you given up on explaining a particular issue that is negatively affecting clients to your boss? Are you tired of trying to get your colleagues to see a bigger picture? Do not give up. Don’t ever be satisfied with doing nothing. If you are the one who sees a problem, then you have a part to play in communicating it and/ or solving it. e.g A 3 year old school girl is trying to cross the road to get to school, instead of heaping curses on the absent mother as you continue driving in your car. Park it, and let her/help her across.

Being the smartest person in the room is not a guarantee that you are the most useful. The most useful person in the room is not the one with the brightest ideas but the one who knows how to communicate the bright ideas. After all:

- What good is intelligence if you can’t solve problems?

- Of what good is wisdom if it only makes you look down on others?

- What good is knowledge if no one accepts it from you?

Here are my two words on this matter: Find It, Sell It, Do Something, Add It.

Having a good idea isn’t good enough… Sell It

Seeing a problem is not enough… Do Something

There’s a way to communicate with your boss that he will understand and listen to you… Find It

Bear in mind that in most cases, even if you cannot eradicate a problem from the face of the earth, there is always something you can add to make things a bit better...

                                                                       Add It

From this, what do you think is the difference between being helpful and ‘Over sabi’? Is there something you feel like adding to your school, office or the lives of people around you? Let’s talk about how you can go about it. Post your comment here or send me an email to uki@poisenigeria.org

Sure Thing

Why does everyone call only me when they need money? Why is it that I am always given the most difficult tasks? She keeps doing this because she knows I will always forgive, should I change? Maybe I need to become a bit more stubborn and put my parents on their toes, they cannot tell my sis all these things they are telling me. Are you feeling like changing your personality because people around you seem to be getting away with doing less? Do you feel like you are being taken for granted? I have two words for you, but first I will tell you about some guys, I call them My guys.

This is a true story about the three men I work with. In order of how I met them, Niyi, Sam and Henry. A few weeks ago in ‘Find It’ I spoke about my job and how hectic it gets. God uses them to make it possible. As I always say, you can describe our job in 12 words: We train people in the job market and help them get jobs. Those 12 words translate into A LOT of work for them and require so much dedication. Because our jobs directly affect people’s lives and futures, there are no working hours, we are always on. They get practically no free days either, we work all week long doing one thing or the other because there is always so much at stake. In the midst of all this, I am always grateful for one thing. “My guys are a sure thing.”

While writing this, I am in Kenya on a business trip, but of all the things I have to bother about, while I am away, I don’t have to worry about what is going on in the office.

I am not wondering if they will be resuming at 10:00 A.M instead of 8:00AM. They won’t. I don’t have to be scared that classes won’t go on as scheduled or that if I am not at a meeting, things won’t go right. I am not scared that the place will fall apart in my absence or the scheduled tests will not take place. I know all will go well. Calling them a Sure Thing does not mean they don’t make mistakes. They have strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else, but I know that if something goes wrong, they won’t sweep it under the carpet and hide it from me. If they face challenges they will figure out ways around them and nothing will be left unattended to or undone. Even though they are very different and are good at different things, I believe I know who they are and what they stand for and that makes them a sure thing.

Who can say that about you? Your Boss? What about your family? Your Friends? People you deal with? What is that one thing that people always require or even demand from you? It shows what you are known for. Are you always called to settle fights or to make them hotter? To pray for someone or to insult them very well? In what issues do people say, “Let’s call her” and for what things do they say, “Let’s leave him, he won’t agree”? Those are the areas they know you as a Sure Thing.

When I was finishing from the university I had a problem with the fact that people were always asking me for my last kobo because they knew I was a nice person who found it hard not to give. I always found myself broke and the people who took all my money were enjoying themselves at my expense. I decided that the remedy was to harden up and toughen up: that way people would stop playing on my intelligence. The result was that I unconsciously became stingy. I achieved my aim because it was no more so easy for people to pull my heart strings and make me feel their pain, no one could ‘use my head’ anymore: but at the same time, those who needed my help couldn’t get it. I found that it was so easy for me to say, ‘Sorry I don’t have.”

This was good. But guess what? I was miserable. I kept telling myself I was still a nice person; I liked being a nice person but all my actions said otherwise. In order not to be a Sure Thing for giving, I was becoming a Sure Thing for selfishness. This posed a challenge. God made me a giver so I enjoyed giving but how was I supposed to find the balance between being everybody’s fool and this selfish person I had become? I found the answer.

Nobody was taking all my money; I was the one giving it out in a way that hurt me, because I didn’t like to say no. The secret was in self-management.

I realized it is possible to be a giver and still be wise and manage my finances properly. I softened up again and now I do not mind being known as the one who is too nice and is always giving, because that is who I am. I just manage myself better:

- I give when I can

- When I can’t, I say no but I still always endeavor to help find an alternate solution

Back To You

So your sister does no house work and gets away with it but if you leave one dish in the sink, the roof will fall– It could be a compliment, maybe you are your parent’s sure ‘responsible’ thing.

Maybe you get away with bad grades but when your sister comes home with a B, there is a family meeting – Watch out because that is a sign of their expectations from you.

It is true that people might tend to take you for granted sometimes but I would say it is better to have a positive trait that comes with some disadvantages, than having a negative trait that comes with advantages. Don’t downgrade yourself, instead manage yourself better, know what you want and become more assertive, so you are being yourself for the right reasons and with the right motive.

With this I must also sound a word of caution. Like I wrote in ‘Get Weird’, it is dangerous to be someone who goes with every flow and cannot be vouched for on any matter whether negative or positive. Where ever you are you must make your mark. Here are my two words of advice for you today: Know You, Create Yours, Watch It, Be Assertive

If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything…Know You

Stop going with every flow…Create Yours

Exempting you from responsibilities is not a sign of respect or trust…Watch It

If you feel like you are being taken for granted…Be Assertive

Learn to manage yourself and your relationships, but whatever you do, remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a…

                                                                  Sure Thing!

To My Guys:

- Niyi, thank you for being extraordinarily trustworthy, credible and most of all committed. It’s a pleasure to be able to take that for granted – in a good way.

- Sam, it’s really great that you are so good with working on new projects. And yes, that’s why I always give you the stressful work that requires running around and setting up new centres.

- Henry, I’m so glad that you are committed to excellence, even though I know it makes me drop chaotic things in your lap from time to time. Well done.

Go Back

Have you ever felt this way? “I don’t want to be seen as a quitter but I don’t want to continue either.” This is for you.

If you have given someone N100,000 to carry out a business and he/she is asking for N20,000 Extra to be able to pay you your initial loan…Go Back

If you have dated him for 10 years and he has not yet popped the question…Go Back

If you have been working on a project for so long and you are about to give up…Go Back

Infact if you have been doing anything as a routine for a long time…Go Back

Hold on!, going back in this case does not mean going back to the beginning because no one can rewind time and go back to yesterday. It does not also mean giving up, neither does it mean holding on. I am asking you to ‘Go Back’ to the drawing board and the decision making stage.

About two years ago, a friend and colleague asked my opinion on a situation in which he found himself. He gave a loan to a business man. The person collected 100,000 Naira to buy some things for sale, with a promise to pay within a few weeks.

At the time of discussing with me the debt had grown to about 160,000 Naira and it was months overdue. I will paraphrase his words:

“This is a guy I kind of look up to, I don’t know him very well but he seems to be a respectable person. Every time the money is due he tells me his goods have been delayed and if he gets N20,000 or N30,000 then he will be able to fast track the delivery and pay me. He seems so helpless and says I am his only hope and he really feels bad about it but I am worried because he is asking for another N30,000 and I don’t know whether or not to give him.”

 In summary this was my advice to him:

If you want to give him more money, do not do it because you are considering how much you have already given him and you don’t want to lose it. He may or may not be honest but that does not guarantee anything. Maybe he is investing in a failing business or he too is considering how much he has spent and is refusing to let go of something that is obviously not working. 

Start fresh, take it like this is the first time he is asking you for money, get all the information about what he will do with the money and consider it objectively, try to gauge how honest the man is just like you did the first time he asked you for money, do it all afresh and ask yourself this:

“Knowing what I know, if this man was not with N160,000 of my money would I give him N30,000.” 

"If the only reason you want to continue doing something is because you have already invested so much in it, then it means the past is providing more motivation for going forward than the future holds."

This is always a dangerous situation so don’t do it. In the same way, here are my two words for the day: Go Back, Let Go, Fight It.

-          Don’t be carried away by the past – Let go

-          Don’t be discouraged by the difficulty of the present – Fight It

-          If going forward does not hold anything you want…

Go Back

Is there anything you need to re-evaluate? Let’s talk about it. Write me at uki@poisenigeria.org or post a comment here

Say Something

Where does bitterness come from? Why do I just feel like breaking my boss’ head? Have you ever felt bad that you said some hurtful things to someone you cared a lot about? Teju did the same thing too. She just quit her job and missed an opportunity to head the new branch of Starje Nigeria. Let’s see how it happened?

“I can’t take it anymore! I just hate coming to this place every day and deceiving myself that I am happy. Nothing I do is appreciated, even if I draw my blood out, nobody will notice. See this jargon called my appraisal, I quit!” She stormed out.

Up until 3 months ago, Teju had a great relationship with her boss Mrs. Igure. As the administrative manager, Teju never liked to disappoint Mrs. Igure and she always put her 110% best effort in every task assigned to her. She was managing the company relocation project and even with the tough work load she maintained the same level of commitment until something happened.

When the relocation started and offices were to be allocated to management staff, it was to Teju’s shock and surprise that she found out she had been given the smallest personal office of all the managers at her level. Even Charles, the training manager who joined only last month had a bigger office than her. She was gutted, she just could not fathom why Mrs. Igure would take her for granted so much. “Is it that all the work I am doing is not appreciated? Oh! Because I am gentle right?” As the days rolled by into weeks, she became discouraged, she was not applying herself as much as she used to, and for the first time in a very long while, she got a bad appraisal. That was when she lost it and quit!

Mrs. Igure on the other hand, has a different story to tell

As at 3 Months ago. Teju was one of her most dedicated staff who she valued highly. The thing she appreciated the most about Teju was that her work was always showed a passion for excellence and that she had such a positive attitude to work. Teju had changed in the past few months and Mrs. Igure was worried. “Maybe she is planning to move to another company.  I hope not”. She asked Teju once or twice if everything was okay, but didn’t get a clear response so she concluded that it could be a personal matter. After a while it got out of hand. “What is this Teju? This is below par and you know it! Should I be expected to accept this level of performance from you of all people?” This continued until the end of the quarter.

After the quarterly appraisal Mrs. Igure called Teju into her office. “Teju, this is the first time I have scored you poorly since you joined us 5 years ago and I need to know why you did so badly? I expect so much from you and I hope this serves as a jolt to make you do your best from now on.” Teju saw her appraisal and lost it. “What! I can’t take it anymore! I just hate coming to this place every day and deceiving myself that I am happy. Nothing I do is appreciated, even if I draw my blood out, nobody will notice. See this jargon called my appraisal, I quit!” She stormed out.

Mrs. Igure: “Teju come back. What is the meaning of this!”

Teju: “I quit oh! Let the special people who deserve recognition and accolades stay, I have better things to do with my life!” After all I don’t even deserve thank you, well done and so on. After 5 years of my life have gone down the drain for this useless company, I am being treated like trash, I even have the smallest office.

Mrs. Igure was in shock but she calmed herself down, and said slowly, “Do you want to know why you got the smaller office? Is that what this is about?” Without waiting for a response she continued “I am going to show you a letter which I planned to give you 2 months ago, I held on to it because of your sudden lack of dedication and the drop in the quality of your work. Certainly with this outburst of yours you are no longer eligible for it. Just read it and leave.” She handed over a letter from her drawer to her, and when Teju read the first paragraph, she could not hold back the stinging tears…

…

It is a pleasure to inform you that in recognition of your hard work and dedication to Starje Nigeria, you have been promoted to the position of Managing Director – Starge Norway where you will serve as the pioneer staff. We know that this is both a great opportunity and a great challenge but we are confident …

THE END!

Sometimes, the biggest problems our hindering progress are the things we think we understand and yet we have no idea about.

If something is annoying, discouraging or disturbing you, don’t let bitterness take root. Don’t wait until you cannot help but explode. Here are my two words for you:

If you are hurt by a harmless gesture, try to get over it, if you cannot…Express yourself

If you are getting mixed signals and you can’t understand what a person wants…Clarify Issues

If you want something and your non-verbal clues are not working…Speak Clearly

Man can see other planets with a telescope but there is no mindoscope to accurately read thoughts. If something is going wrong and you can do something about it, don’t just stand there…

Say Something!

How do you approach difficult topics with lecturers, bosses or parents? Let’s talk about it. Post a Comment 

Find It

Hello friends,

Let me just say thank you for your emails. It has been amazing reading your thoughts on ‘Two Words’ and responding to your questions. I am going to be talking about myself today. If you are doing something you love, studying a course you enjoy or if your job is in line with your passion, I am happy for you because that is the best situation to be in. If you are not, then I have two words for you… Find It.

I love my job to pieces. I work with some of the most amazing people I have ever met and we’re like a family. As for my job itself, I can hardly think of a job I would rather be doing at this time of my life. I train people in the job market and help them get jobs. What could be more fulfilling? I enjoy my job because it is in line with my passion.

GUESS WHAT!

As much as I love my job, sometimes I don’t feel like doing it. After many trips away from my family, spending my days and nights working myself to the bone, sometimes I just wake up and ask myself why I have to get out of bed. On those stressful days, I close my eyes for 2 minutes, take a deep breath and I remind myself of all the things I wrote above, in the second paragraph of this article. By the time I open my eyes, I feel revived and ready to move mountains. My passion drives my life.

Do you know what makes you tick? Many people who are successful say that they are successful because they are getting paid for doing their hobby. Do you know what you wouldn’t mind doing for the rest of your life, even if you wouldn’t get paid?... If you don’t, you have to Find It. The job I do could make someone else miserable because everyone has something different that is their thing.

I am not referring to a profession right now, I am referring to your passion. You could be a customer service agent who is passionate about singing, or a brand manager who gets fulfillment from teaching. There is nothing wrong with that, just Find It. Whatever your IT is, when you find it, you can chart a course from where you are, to where you are going and all of a sudden there is a purpose to everyday because with each new day, you are one day closer to your dream.

Don’t loose sight of your passion or purpose: Remember It

Don’t loose hope in your dreams: Chase Them

If you don’t know the thing that can spur you on every day: Find It

Please remember that even when you are doing something you love you can get tired, how much more when you are doing something just for the sake of doing it. Don’t wait for life to hand you your dream: Find it!

Lets discuss:  How can you Find Your Dream? Drop a comment here or send an email to uki@poisenigeria.org