Project Your Poise Video - DINNING ETIQUETTE

A must watch.

If you have a business lunch, dinner or date.

Watch this first

Project Your Poise Video - DINNING ETIQUETTE

A must watch.

If you have a business lunch, dinner or date.

Watch this first

Project Your Poise - Professional Attitude And Behaviour

Is your boss or a client stressing you out?

This is an awesome video on Professionalism and Workplace Ethics. If you have not watched this, click to watch and drop your comments below.



#Enjoy

Take It

Do you feel you are being over looked for something you deserve? Maybe it’s a promotion, a reward or a thank you. It might even be a leadership position that you feel you should have been nominated for. If there is a promotion or leadership position that you believe you are qualified for, I have two words for you….Take It.

Just like the great hunter called David.

There was a great hunter named David…

David didn’t actually set out trying to be a hunter oh. He was a shepherd. He only killed animals in the course of doing his job. As a shepherd, David’s main concern was taking care of his sheep, keeping them healthy and fed, caring for them regularly and guiding them home. But you see, one fateful day, there was a lion threatening to affect his job by killing his sheep. Killing lions was the job of a hunter, so the situation on ground meant that David needed a hunter in order to be able to do his job. There was no hunter around to do it, so David took the job in order to do his job as a shepherd.

…That’s how David became a hunter.

Interestingly, everybody still saw David as a shepherd, even though had killed a lion and a bear. David had developed the skills of a hunter, even though no one knew it or recognized it.

Some years later…

There was as a great warrior named David…

Oh yes, the same one which was a shepherd and a hunter, then become a warrior. He didn’t mean to become a warrior oh. He was only being a good citizen. His dad asked him to go and give his brothers food at the battle front and on his way,  he heard the horrible voice of giant threatening to destroy his home and people. The shepherd in David couldn’t ‘do nothing’. He said to himself, “Surely this is the job of a warrior.” He looked around for one, but there was none. They were all too afraid. No one offered David the job to be a warrior but once again, he couldn’t just sit by. He considered his past experiences, his faith and his strengths: and when David realized that he had everything it took to defeat the giant and save his people, he didn’t wait for someone to offer him the job of a warrior. He took it.

…That was how David became a warrior.

There was a King named David…But that is a story for another day

-The End-

I took my first job after NYSC. Half way through my service year, the person I was directly reporting to had left the organisation. I was surprised to come to work one morning and meet his empty chair. He was the IT Helpdesk Officer. My first and most pressing thought was, “What will happen to all the people that will call the help desk this morning”. I was so bothered that I did not wait to find out if a replacement had been hired or not. I sat on his desk and started attending to the support calls. For the first few days I kept on thinking someone would tell me I was not qualified enough or that I didn’t have the required experience but from that day on I became the Helpdesk Officer and no one ever wondered if I belonged to that seat. I did not feel that I was doing anyone a favor, even though I was still earning the same NYSC pay until I was retained after my NYSC.

Some of us spend so much waiting for people to validate us. Stop waiting to be validated by convention when your experiences have validated you already. Your ability to spot and fill any need is more important than a person’s ability to spot your ability.

Some of us run even when an opportunity is presented to us. That is because in our own secret corner we run away from challenges rather than embracing and overcoming them.  Solving problems that no one knows about, builds your confidence to solve the ones that will make you a star.

Some of us want to be paid, rewarded or recognized before we add value in a bigger way than we are doing, what we don’t realize is this: The only way for people to see your value is when you express it by solving problems.

There are three things I learnt from my NYSC/First Job experience:

1. No one will tell you that you are not qualified to do a job that you are already excelling at.
2. Challenges are the things that separate warriors from mere men.
3. If an opportunity opens up, don’t expect that people will immediately think of nominating you for it. If you want it…

TAKE IT

The people around you may not know what you are made of, but one day a giant will pass by and everyone will be scared. Will you be ready to Take It? If you have any questions about how to take opportunities or prepare yourself for one, let’s discuss it on the Poise’ Graduate Finishing Academy Blog on Monday. Post a comment on Poisegfs.blogspot.com

Own It

Have you ever decided to do something but you didn't end up going through with it. Was the problem the fact that a friend kept on asking you and you could not say no? Research shows that the way you say no has a great impact on whether or not you will do something. Let’s discuss the best way to say no based on science and research.

Tony and Tara decided that they were going to read 2 hours every day before going to bed. They had professional exams coming up and both wanted to pass in flying colors. They were part of a very social and tight knit circle of friends and someone always had something interesting going on. In order to achieve their desire to read two hours before bed each night. They had to miss many of the social outings and they knew it would be hard because they all enjoyed one another’s company so much. After three weeks of trying to stick to their new resolution, they ran into each other at the mall.

Tara: “So how has it been going, are you ready for the exams?”

Tony: “Ready ke? I don’t even know what to do anymore. I read only about 3 nights out of 7 in a week. And this week I have not even read at all. The guys call me every single night pestering me to hang out with them and sometimes I just give in. Sometimes even when I stay home, I try to psych myself to read but I just sleep off. What about you?”

Tara: “I have been reading every night oh. I only missed today because I want to give myself a break. Do you want to hang out?”

Tony: “No, I can’t oh, let me go and…

Tara: Exactly! That is where the problem is Tony. You are saying no the wrong way. When you say no, you must own it. Don’t say it like you are helpless.

Tony gave her an ‘Is-this-lady-loosing-her-mind-look’ so she explained: I read this article that discussed research in improving will power and it says that instead of saying things like “I can’t go out because I need to read” you should say “I don’t go out every night anymore, I am preparing for my exams.” Saying ‘I don’t’ instead of ‘I can’t’ affects your will power immensely.

“Stop saying ‘I can’t instead say ‘I don’t’. Infact after calling me 3 times and I said I don’t go out on weekdays anymore because of the exam, Lekan and co. stopped calling me. I guess they could sense my resolve, so instead, they now send me encouraging texts. The words you speak go a long way in affecting your actions. Hey, here is the link; you can read more about it here.”

Tony stored the link in his phone to read through when he got home. “It’s funny, I thought saying I can’t meant I have no other option” Tara replied, yes it does, but saying ‘I don’t means, I have options but I have decided not to and I will not. That gives you more power.”

Hmm: “Great! You and all these oyinbo things. I will try it.

THE END

Here are my two words for you:

You are the number one person that your words affect, so before you say anything…Check It

Change can be difficult so don’t make it harder by discouraging yourself…Encourage You

If you have made prior plans that will keep pulling away from a new resolution…Cancel Them

When you say NO, to something you don’t want to do, don’t sound like you wish you could say yes. Don’t say ‘I can’t’, because no one is forcing you to say no. Say ‘I don’t’. It is your decision, it is what you want so…

Own It

If you want to get the link to the scientific article that explains this theory of saying ‘I don’t’ rather than ‘I cant’ please visit the link: http://blog.bufferapp.com/a-scientific-guide-to-saying-no-how-to-avoid-temptation-and-distraction

Two Words - Sit Down

“I have so much to do and so little time.”, “I just had a brilliant idea!”, “I have so many ideas and I don’t know how to do them all.”, ”This team is working so hard but it seems like there is no end in sight.”

Are you getting discouraged because of a project you are working on? Have you felt like, you are putting in so much effort into a job and your boss/lecturer/teammates are just demanding more from you for no reason? Do you sometimes feel like there is so much you want to do and you don’t know where to start? I know that feeling. From as far back as I can remember, I have always had journals where I list every brilliant business idea that I thought of (I know someone reading this has some of those). After a while, I started storing them on my laptop but I would always wonder how I would fulfill all of my divergent dreams. That was how I learnt to ‘Sit Down’.

A garden has many plants, growing at different rates which are at different stages. They may not all have been planted at the same time and so they need different types of care at every given time:

Question 1: A forest and a garden both contain plants and trees that are growing, so what sets them apart?

 Answer: A Plan

Question 2: What prevents a garden from growing into a forest?

 Answer: Continuous pruning to keep it in line with the plan

  

“You cannot Check Milestones if you do not know where you are going” - Myself

“If you are not growing according to a plan, you are growing nowhere” – John Maxwell

Final Question: What would happen to a gardener if he keeps pruning a garden every day without any idea of what the owner is trying to achieve or why the garden is important?

Answer: ……………………………………………………………………………………………

You can answer this question after reading.

Every once in a while, you need to stop and compare where you were yesterday to where you are today. If you don’t do that you might not see how much you have grown/learnt/achieved. When you do that, half of the job is done. You must also compare where you are today with where you are going to. In order to do this effectively, the most important thing you need is: A Plan.

To prevent getting discouraged, feeling lost, or making progress without a sense of fulfillment it is important to do this frequently:

1.       SIT DOWN and review your goals (as a team, as an individual and even as an organization). Rediscover what you are working towards and what you want to achieve in the short term, medium term and long term.

2.       Do not just be all work and no play. At regular intervals, SIT DOWN and celebrate your progress reflect on how far you have come. Celebrate yourself and those you work with.

3.       SIT DOWN and make a plan: Do not just expect that life will lead you naturally to what is best for you. Be specific about how you want to achieve your goals, meet your target, get promoted or build your finances.

4.       SIT DOWN and review your plan. Do not be stuck on the first plan you have. You need to keep measuring your progress and updating and editing your plan. Sometimes you might end up even editing your goals.

15 Minutes a day will keep discouragement away. You can get it from your sleep time, TV time or Facebook time. You can even do it during your Traffic time or take it from your Midnight call time. Don’t keep moving without reminding yourself of where you are moving to. It is good to Work It, Upgrade You and Check Milestones but it is important that you do all of this according to a plan. If you don’t have one, get a pen and paper, find some quiet time and…

SIT DOWN

Let’s discuss. You can post your answer to the question about the gardener here or send an email to uki@poisenigeria.org.

Want to discuss anything? Please post it in the comment box below.

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Two Words - Just Ask

Just Ask

How do I know if she likes me? I know why he acts like that, is it not him!? Why would she do such a thing to her sister? Let me ask Janet if Tito gave her the book yesterday so I will know if she will give me? They will not like it, let me not even bother trying. Should I ask her for money or should I just leave it, she looks broke and she didn’t give Fred when he asked her yesterday.”

Have you ever thought in this way? Are you trying to figure out what someone is thinking by asking everyone else except them? Is this a good strategy? Let’s discuss it.

Aigbode works with Mike, they had been working together for close to two years. When Aigbode joined Glitz Limited, Femi was already working in that unit. They all lived in the same area which was very far from work and Mike their boss had a car. Though they all closed at the same time, Aigbode and Femi would go home by public transport while Mike would drive himself home. Mike was very jovial in the office and Aigbode often wondered why he couldn’t give them a ride since they all stayed in the same area and they had such a nice relationship. For almost two years no one ever brought it up until Chinonye joined the team. A week after she joined, Mike started giving her lifts to her bus stop and the tongues started wagging.

“Can you imagine? So because Chinonye is a lady, she is worthy of a lift. Hmm! I respected this man oh! I never thought he could be like this. “This is ridiculous.” said Aigbode. Femi replied, “Oh boy! Be there! Stop judging sha. The girl is a fine babe, leave the man alone and face your work.” This scenario continued for a while. Even when Chinonye suddenly quit 6 months after, everyone took it as proof that something was going on between them and she must have resigned because the relationship with Mike went sour.

4 years later, Mike ran into Chinonye at the Cinema. “Hello Chinonye, how are you doing? It’s good to see you. So what are you up to now?” “Not much Sir but I am doing well. I have a small business I am doing after all that happened to me?” Mike was curious, “What happened?” Chinonye explained “Sir, when I left Glitz limited, it was not as if I had another job or something to do. I just could not take the stories that were going around anymore. Someone confided in me that I needed to be careful around you because you had never been so nice to a staff, so everyone felt something was going on between us. I was very surprised. One day, I was late to work and I was having an argument with Towobola, then she spat out that I should not think that because I was dating you I could do anything I liked.” That was it for me. I just couldn’t stand my reputation being tarnished in such a manner and I realized the whole office must have been discussing it. That was why I resigned with immediate effect. I didn’t want to cause trouble so I could not tell you. Do you still work there?” Mike was stunned. He tried to mask it. “It was nice seeing you again sir, Enjoy the movie. Bye.” Mike mustered a “Goodbye” and all he could think about was “How many people in the office were saying this about me and for how long? How come no one ever told me so I could remedy my reputation? What is the meaning of this?” He left the cinema and went back home. Only one word can describe how he felt: Betrayed.

From that day, Mike’s behavior to his colleagues changed drastically, he went from being the jovial boss to being super strict and till today, nobody knows why.

The End

This kind of scenario happens in our offices, our schools and even our homes and businesses. We relate with people based on so many assumptions, rather than simply asking the question that we have on our minds. Aigbode did not ask Mike if he could give him a ride because he assumed that Femi must have asked before. Since Femi had been working there longer, Aigbode assumed Femi knew Mike better. Femi never asked Mike if he could give him a ride because he felt that it was out of place and he should let Mike be the one to make the offer. When Mike didn’t, Femi assumed it was because he did not want to. Mike never thought of offering them a ride, because he knew they would find it hard to say no and he didn’t want to cramp their style. He expected that they would ask if they needed his help and when they didn’t, he assumed it was because they didn’t want to go with him. Chinonye was bold enough to ask, but because she was a lady, once again everyone assumed they knew why Mike offered her a ride (he didn’t). No one asked Chinonye if she was the one who asked for a ride or if Mike offered because they assumed they already had the answer. It was actually none of their business, but still they talked about it. At the end of the day everyone got hurt.

Here are my two words for those of us who have given up on asking for something:

Even innocent assumptions can kill, because they have a way of feeling like fact. Don’t assume…Just Ask

If you have a question, stop trying to guess the answer when you can…Just Ask

Don’t let the fear of rejection make you call someone in Abuja to just to find out if your neighbor (who is in Lagos with you) will let you use her iron…Just Ask

Don’t spend 20 months designing the perfect product without finding out if your target will be interested in what you are doing…Use Surveys

Sometimes you need something from God...Just Ask

Asking ‘Do you think she will give me?’, ‘Do you think they will agree?’ or ‘Do you think he will like to?’, ‘Has he forgiven me?’ are all good questions they can help you prepare a good pitch but at the end of the day, the surest way is to, meet the person in question, ignore the apprehension nibbling inside you and…

JUST ASK

What are some tough questions that you have been unable to ask? Let’s discuss strategies for asking tricky questions on the Poise’ Graduate Finishing Academy Blog poisegfs.blogspot.com. Post a comment here or if it is private you can send an email to uki@poisenigeria.org. Remember you can subscribe to this blog by email and you will get Two Words in your email, hot and fresh.

Thank you